A few thoughts...(...more like a thousand!)




On any other evening, I would prefer to have an idea of what I'd like to discuss and if I really want to be proactive - determine the intended message from posting a blog entry. 

My 'usual' self, under normal circumstances, would at least have a beginning, middle, and end. 


However...



This December night, as well as the day, exuded something in the air. This entire day and evening was, by all means, anything but normal for me. 

1. I am in the process of finalizing my last week of working full-time - - a place I have been spending at least 40 hours of each week, in the past 2+ years of my life. Not only did I gain valuable professional experience (and academic), this place has been what I have familiarized myself with in the past 2 years! 

Needless to say, #1 is scary - - especially when one does not have another full-time paying position lined up. 

2. My sleeping routine? Shit. (I find myself justifying my erratic patterns of sleep by telling myself I'm buying more time to finish packing or more time to spend with my loved ones)...

3. Everywhere I go...any thought that crosses my mind usually sounds something like this in my head 'Well, just in case this is the last time I - - - - I better fully appreciate the crap out of it' - - this applies to people, places, and things. 

4. I have always shopped for clothes based on style, fit, and necessity according to price. Now? 

It is solely based on fabric material, weight (wool as opposed to nylon - - wool is heavier), and practicality. 

I never thought it would be so challenging to pack light for winters.
(I plan on posting my travel pack list soon for anyone who may want to travel during Winter)



So again, tonight is just not typical for me - - especially when comparing to the past 27 years of my life. I really don't have a purpose with tonight's blog entry. 

With only 5 days left to spend in my home country, I find myself even more grateful for this 'prelude' segment of my upcoming expedition. It has already taught me to truly live each day as if it is your last by telling the ones you care - - because you really f'ing care, putting 100% into everything you do - - especially if it means a lot to you, and always re-create your world because it's yours to mold/shape/make-happen. 

I honestly don't think anyone has to be leaving the country for however long...or be cursed with a limited amount of time left to be alive...to embrace every. little. moment (every and all). 

Bedtime. 






xoxo,

cathy







4 comments:

  1. The problem may be that you are considering everything to be your last. Remember the choice was yours, and your intentions are to return. There is no reason to consider anything your last; unless you truly believe it is. Of course, things may change, but don't live with the regret because you made one decision over another.

    Also, to be overly prepared, in my opinion, is a bit irresponsible: would you not want to experience mistakes and learn from them while venturing away, Single Yellow Female? You are already choosing to experience something others may never have the opportunity to do, why rob yourself of some of the fun parts?

    -SirAaron

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  2. SirAaron,

    I truly appreciate your insight because this very experience unfolding before my eyes is a result of many choices that I have made in the past. No regrets because I'm following my heart. I wouldn't change a thing. As for the fun parts, there will definitely be some unique experiences and amazing stories to share when I return..

    As for now, all I can do is my personal best to be prepared but - - if it just so happens, events do not go as planned, the challenge in itself will give me a new perspective :) win-win.

    ReplyDelete
  3. cathy,

    maybe this is what i have been needing to read. your positive words yesterday have triggered something inside of me. i miss you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rach!! It was so nice to chat with you :) You are a fabulous woman and am so happy we are friends :) Glad to hear the positive words triggered something...positivity is contagious ;)

    ReplyDelete

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